the scientist

there once was a boy who wandered aimlessly until someone gave him a sand grain and showed him how to use it, and he became good at using it. he found his sand grain to be good and beautiful: "you dont know how lovely you are!" and he boasted to ten people of how good and beautiful it was, until it fell upon a stone and turned to dust.

he was happy and so he picked up the stone and it became his new him: "i had to find you, because i need you," he said to this stone--it was bigger and much tougher, and no one out of a hundred could show him a better one. he trusted it much more than he trusted the sand grain, for it lasted much longer and he set it apart. until eventually it, too, broke. under a rock the stone crumbled.

but the boy was not disappointed. he was ecstatic for he found something better and even more beautiful which he took for his own. and he became very proud of his rock, for nobody around had a better one. many came and were in awe of the boy's rock. yet many were also jealous, and they threw their stones at him. but the boy lifted up the rock to shield his body, and all the sharp stones bounced away like grains of sand... and for once in his life he was so sure. then he put his trust in the rock. for a long time his rock served him well, and soon he realised it wasnt just a good shield but a great sword; "tell me your secrets. ask me your questions!" he said, and he crushed their stones with his rock. nobody out of a thousand could face him without fear. then one day he swung his rock upon another. with great surprise he saw his great rock shatter into a million pieces, for he had hit a boulder.

the boy cried. but his tears were of euphoria, for he had found a new him. this boulder--it was even better and yet even more beautiful than anything. it was perfect. he remembered his rock, and with greater trust than before he placed it in the boulder. and it was well placed, for the boulder was everlasting and everything that face it was pulled everything apart like numbers, figures and puzzles. many came and were in awe of the boy's boulder. yet there were a ten thousand times as many who were jealous and they threw their stones and rocks and boulders at him. but his boulder was the strongest, and all the sharpness pointed towards him became blunt in the presence of it and he set it apart.

an eternity went by, and many more appeared in his presence, in awe of the boy's boulder, but now there were also a million times as many who were against him, for he looked at all stones, rocks and boulders put before him as if they were like the rest before it which were all destroyed in the presence of his own. all his enemies detested him and his boulder and they spat at his pride tried to stone him, the more the boy knew he was invincible, and the more his enemies grew, and the more the boy was convinced he was immortal. by now there were a billion times as many who were against him as before, and the boy knew that every single one of them were one and the same--like the rest before, unable to produce anything worth standing against his boulder.

then his boulder was crushed under a mountain. there were a billion cheers, for the great pride was finally torn. but the boy was unshaken, as he had in him the ultimate joy of victory, what all his enemies would reluctantly but eventually learn--that he would conquer the mountain for his own, and because of that, become a trillion times harder to defeat. the boy's enemies cried out, "who can defeat one who wields mountains?"

until he saw another someone holding sand grain and the boy's mountain crumbled into a thousand trillion specks of dust, each one impossibly small and insignificant. and it took him back to the start--to back as he was. no mountain, no boulder, no rock, no stone, no sand grain--just dust. this time the happiness was real.

ps 19 may
this is responsible for the "skeptic's disease."