je regrette part trois

i want to turn back time. 

i want to turn back time to when i was a month old, and i would enjoy being photographed because i no longer do.

i want to turn back time to when i was four, and i would colour inside the lines just like my teacher asked, instead of wonder why i should listen to anybody. 

i want to turn back time to when i was five, and i would slide down the fireman's pole on the treehouse, instead of hesitate till i left that place and no longer could. 

i want to turn back time to when i was six, and i would drink red yakult every day.i want to turn back time to when i was seven, and i would smile everyday instead of cry.

i want to turn back time to when i was eight, and i would tell my classmates that they would be reading the dictionary all the days of their lives. i and would laugh at them then.

i want to turn back time to when i was nine, and i would enjoy beating all the little kids at digimon all over again.

i want to turn back time to when i was ten, and i would befriend that boy instead of bully him. 

i want to turn back time to when i was eleven, and i would exercise more and eat better.

i want to turn back time to when i was twelve, and i would do the psle all over again, and i would enjoy doing it, and i would tell my chinese teacher off for humiliating me for getting a B, instead of sit there and take it like a loser.

i want to turn back time to when i was thirteen, and i would be less afraid of coming to school late. i would be less afraid of getting my hair cut by the prefects. i would be less afraid of everything. and i would enjoy school.

i want to turn back time to when i was fourteen, and i would tell that girl everything. and she wouldnt take two years to figure it out.

i want to turn back time to when i was fifteen, and i would do everything just the same. and i would do them without looking back.

i want to turn back time to when i was sixteen, and i would say goodbye to the first man who ever inspired me.

i want to turn back time to when i was seventeen, and i would make more friends because the ones i choose always leave me.

i want to turn back time to when i was eighteen, and i would work slightly harder at math. and i would work slightly harder at seeing things i should have seen. and i would forgive them. and i would forgive myself. a million things i could have done better. i would do five hundred thousand of them.

i want to turn back time to when i was nineteen, and i would work better as a team. 

i want to turn back time to when i was twenty, and i would take more pride in my actions, and show people what i am capable of. i would not waste my time.

i want to turn back time to when i was twenty-one, and i would learn how to drive a car. and i would learn how to ride a motorcycle. and i would learn how to play guitar or piano. i would do all this instead of wasting my time.

i want to turn back time but i cant. and so i do everything today without regret. amen.