christianity for dummies

ok kids i need to post this before i go to sleep and forget to do it. here are the ten commandments.

1. i am the lord your god
2. you shall have no other gods before me
3. you shall not make for yourself an idol
4. you shall not make wrongful use of the name of your god
5. remember the sabbath and keep it holy
6. honor your father and your mother
7. you shall not murder
8. you shall not commit adultery
9. you shall not steal
10. you shall not bear false witness against your neighbour
11. you shall not covet your neighbours wife
12. you shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbours

ok, ok so theres 12 of them. but really does it matter? can we not be so pedantic? if you read through it once you should realise already that some of the 12 do in fact overlap. thats why the christian peoples only call it the Ten Commandments. there are in fact a couple or a few different sets of ten rules, but generally taken from this list of twelve.

anyway if you truly understand what #1 means, then you would also abide by #2, #3 and #4. #5 is a special request from God. #6 asks you not to shame your folks. #7 asks you not to intentionally and maliciously take the life of another dude. #8 and #11 says dont steal another man's wife. oh hey, stealing. lets combine that with #9. oh hey, #12 is also stealing. #10 says dont get your neighbour into trouble by your petty lies.

ok kids, lets recap:

1. i am the lord your god
2. remember the sabbath and keep it holy
3. honor your father and your mother
4. you shall not murder
5. you shall not steal
6. you shall not bear false witness against your neighbour

awesome we're down to six! actually if you really honor your god, you automatically fulfill the original #1 through #5. and this should not come as a surprise for those of you already familiar with christianity: if you truly love others, you would honor them as you would your parents, and you wouldnt kill them, neither would you steal from them, neither would you lie against them. #3,#4,#5,#6 wham, bam, kazzam.

ok kids, another recap:

1. i am the lord your god
2. love thy neighbour as you love yourself

wow is this familiar or what? it took a minute to find this

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like to it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. -Matt 22:37-42 KJV

so, kids, we started with twelve, now we only have two. pretty simple huh. what? still too complicated? gimme another minute.

And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also. -1 John 4:21 KJV

ok so its really just two rules mixed into one cool verse. if i had to make it any simpler id have to rename the post to christianity for mega idiots.