in poland

dorota: in poland, we have a saying: "love is like headwound. its make you dizzy. you think you die...but you recover! ..usually."

blair: thats a terrible saying!

je regrette part quatre

a girl goes to the bakery with her father and he offers to buy some goodies for her. sees a slice of cheese cake and a slice of chocolate cake. she exclaims "i shall not overeat today. buy me the chocolate cake, daddy!" and chooses the chocolate cake. she goes home and enjoys the cake, but as soon as she has eaten, she starts crying, "daddy i dont like chocolate anymore! i want the cheese cake, but now the bakery is closed and it's too late." and her father says "my dear, you could have asked for both then."

"no daddy, you know i wouldnt feel good about myself if i had both slices!"

"baby girl, i also know that had you asked for both, i would have definitely given them both to you."

nightmare

i just woke up from a terrible dream

give up

well knowing that you know nothing is supposed to be the real truth. i know the limit of my knowledge and i stop talking when i reach it. this is supposed to bring freedom but what if you find out that you should know something when you dont...when you cant..because youre not allowed to...or maybe, maybe its because you didnt try hard enough to find out: thats why you dont know. maybe you still wouldnt know anything even if you tried, even if you had a legion of helpers, because what is keeping you from knowing is a force unimaginable.

could this kind of turmoil be akin to slavery? psychological slavery. a yoke on the mind. needing to know but not knowing. being reminded of how little you know. being reminded that you cant know everything. discovering what you want will not always be what you could have. realising that all the help on earth and all the time in your life would not be enough to know even half a speck of whats capable of being known.

i wonder if socrates was really talking about giving up.

the unhypocrites

the reckless man who had been rescued from death henceforth appreciates life to the fullest. the wicked woman who has given birth to children is henceforth kind to all children. the man of bigotry who married an outsider no longer speaks a racist word. the healthy woman who became a smoker no longer scoffs at smokers. the proud man who was shamed once no longer boasts of anything. the rich woman who was bankrupted can now see the beggars in the street. the faithful man who became an adulterer no longer judges adulterers. the misanthrope who was saved once by a good samaritan no longer hates mankind. the straight man who befriended a lesbian and the straight woman who befriended a gay man both no longer judge homos. the rude man who fell in love with a polite woman no longer speaks rudely. the pro-life woman who was raped no longer condemns abortion. the anti-abolitionist man whose family became enslaved no longer supports slavery. the anti-abolitionist woman whose son was hanged for a crime no longer supports the death penalty. the unbelieving man who had seen miracles became a believer...

funny how people have to have things happen to them before they start seeing clearly. how clouded a viewpoint, one from the eyes of the inexperienced! how ominous the future is for them. yet how bright their faces shine when their eyes are opened! all is available to them, if only their minds were open...

one could measure oneself against the moral highground of the righteous man raised himself up above the rest, but moreso salutable is the unrighteous man who earned his ground to be equal among the rest by climbing up from the fallen depths, ironically becoming more equal than anyone else. that is the man i want to see.

i am owl

i like nights ten times more than i like days.

days are too hot. days are too bright. days are too noisy. days are too crowded. i can never get anything done during the day. days are for working out. days are for eating. days are for laying about. days are for sleeping, thats for sure. i can never get anything done during the day.

but nights are cool. nights are just dark enough. nights are quiet and peaceful. nights are alone. not that i always get things done during the night, but it just feels like nights are meant for things to happen. nights are for enjoying. nights are for appreciating. nights are for reading. nights are for writing. nights are for thinking, thats for sure. i am meant for the night.

especially rainy nights. i could just sit in a wet tree at look at a glowing lamp all night. and then i would look up and look at the white sparks up there. maybe if im lucky there wouldnt be a moon, because moons are too bright. and then i would look down and spy a black cat prowling the shimmering ground silently. little cat, how are you tonight? and then i would look straight ahead and admire the soft orange glow, and see the tiny flies in hectic orbit, and i would smile, because i know that even alone, i am not alone:

all these things, they are meant for the nights--just like me...

oh dear i think im in love...

...with math.

and lately i realised that i cant really read anymore. i go through a paragraph or two and soon into the third i discover that my eyes went across all the words but my mind was somewhere else. so i restart the paragraph and understand it and go on to the fourth but then quickly into that i find myself in yet another place again, and i have to re-read. i keep restarting and restarting and going in circles and going in circles...

its been happening a lot. my eyes see the words and my ears hear my minds voice reciting them but im neither reading nor listening...

whats the point?

why greg why wont you tell me why

because avoiding an old question is infinitely more interesting than answering it again.

fun times. :)

christianity for dummies

ok kids i need to post this before i go to sleep and forget to do it. here are the ten commandments.

1. i am the lord your god
2. you shall have no other gods before me
3. you shall not make for yourself an idol
4. you shall not make wrongful use of the name of your god
5. remember the sabbath and keep it holy
6. honor your father and your mother
7. you shall not murder
8. you shall not commit adultery
9. you shall not steal
10. you shall not bear false witness against your neighbour
11. you shall not covet your neighbours wife
12. you shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbours

ok, ok so theres 12 of them. but really does it matter? can we not be so pedantic? if you read through it once you should realise already that some of the 12 do in fact overlap. thats why the christian peoples only call it the Ten Commandments. there are in fact a couple or a few different sets of ten rules, but generally taken from this list of twelve.

anyway if you truly understand what #1 means, then you would also abide by #2, #3 and #4. #5 is a special request from God. #6 asks you not to shame your folks. #7 asks you not to intentionally and maliciously take the life of another dude. #8 and #11 says dont steal another man's wife. oh hey, stealing. lets combine that with #9. oh hey, #12 is also stealing. #10 says dont get your neighbour into trouble by your petty lies.

ok kids, lets recap:

1. i am the lord your god
2. remember the sabbath and keep it holy
3. honor your father and your mother
4. you shall not murder
5. you shall not steal
6. you shall not bear false witness against your neighbour

awesome we're down to six! actually if you really honor your god, you automatically fulfill the original #1 through #5. and this should not come as a surprise for those of you already familiar with christianity: if you truly love others, you would honor them as you would your parents, and you wouldnt kill them, neither would you steal from them, neither would you lie against them. #3,#4,#5,#6 wham, bam, kazzam.

ok kids, another recap:

1. i am the lord your god
2. love thy neighbour as you love yourself

wow is this familiar or what? it took a minute to find this

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like to it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. -Matt 22:37-42 KJV

so, kids, we started with twelve, now we only have two. pretty simple huh. what? still too complicated? gimme another minute.

And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also. -1 John 4:21 KJV

ok so its really just two rules mixed into one cool verse. if i had to make it any simpler id have to rename the post to christianity for mega idiots.

what will we become?

What is given can't be returned.
The cards are in our hands.
All that is living can be hurt,
And that's the end of innocence.

-Kings of Convenience

gregory for dummies part quatre

G201

• i am fair to the unfairly treated
• i am merciful to those shown no mercy
• i exalt the humble
• i humble the exalted
• i defend those unable to defend
• i destroy those who destroy
• i protect those who protect
• i join the losing team
• i laugh at those who laugh at
• i guess that explains why i laugh to myself alot
• i think cool people are weird
• i think weird people are cool
• i think im too cool for school
• no seriously
• i turn left when told to turn right
• i turn right when told to turn left
• i continue when told to stop 
• i stop whenever i please
• i murder people who tell me what to do
• i make my own rules and i abide by them strictly
• i cant listen to people who cant convince me
• i listen intently to people who have convinced me once
• i am stubborn to people i cant listen to
• i am open minded to people i can listen to
• i laugh at jokes that nobody laugh at
• i am annoyed by jokes that everyone laughs at
• i am ignorant of the praised
• i praise the unpraised
• i deny praise requested
• i give praise rarely
• i suddenly feel like eating braised duck
• i appreciate people who dont give a fuck
• i dont give a fuck about people who dont appreciate
• i think people who appreciate are nice people
• i am nice to nice people
• i am scum to scum
• i invest my everything into nice people
• i dont even say hello to scum
• i am rude to you because you are a rude person
• i am nice to you because you are a nice person
• i dont talk to you because you dont talk to me
• i might not talk to you even if you talk to me
• i might talk to you if you try talking to me when im not asleep
• i retreat into my head when i am bored. to most people it has the same effect as me being asleep.
• i dont mind staying there because the voices keep me company
• i cannot bring you there with me because once i unplug you from the matrix, i cannot plug you back in

thats it for today, kids. good luck for your upcoming exams. hey who's that sleeping at the back of the class?

the ransom is paid

an old man came upon a young boy who held with his left hand a cage containing some wild birds. the lad was skipping down the street with a huge grin on his young face, cage swinging in hand. the old man was interested, and asked the kid, "boy, what have you got there?"

"i caught these birds today!" came the answer. and the old man grinned,

"that's nice. what will you do with them?"

"i am going to poke them," said the boy with a huge grin, "and then i am going to pluck out their feathers!" he continued. "then i will burn them with fire." the old man's face changed immediately as the boy carried on, "i am going to torture these birds and kill them!"

"no, my boy. no! you musnt do that to the kind animals" the old man pleaded with the boy.

"i shall kill them. and i shall be entertained!" said the boy, ignoring the plea with more smile.

"no, my boy. sell these birds to me. let me buy them off of your hands."

"sir, you are old, but are you also thick in the head? these wild birds are useless creatures! why on earth would anyone pay money for them?"

"little boy, just name me your price. sell these innocent birds to me."

the old man was wealthy and owned much property and land. this the boy knew, and he took advantage of this knowledge and named the price of the birds to be all the man's possessions.

"it is to be done as you say. all of mine on this earth i give to you. now hand me the cage, for i have paid for it so that it and the birds are now mine." so the old man paid dearly for the birds. yet he was not disappointed, until he went out to the fields and opened the cage to let the birds fly free, only to discover that the little creatures would not come out...

"little birds, your ransom is great. but it has been paid in full. you are no longer slave to the torturer. you are no longer bound by cage. now come out to me, and all of you shall be free."

but they would not come out...

we all embarrass him

he stood as judge over the people, and to a criminal if he should say "take him outside and kill him!" and they would take the prisoner outside and kill him. when he said "away with him into the stockades!" the prisoner would be thrown into the stockades. if he said "unshackle him and let him go!" the prisoner would he unshackled and let go, for what ever he said was the last word, and to whomever it was said upon, the word was like destiny. the king's power was great, and they feared him. he was called great; his name--alexander.

one day a young boy clad in greek armour was placed before alexander the great. he was thrown onto his knees before the great general, who with a saddened face asked, "boy, how old are you?"

"i am eighteen years of age." came the reply.

alexander's heart grew soft, for he saw memories of himself in the young soldier, and asked the deputy "what crime is this one guilty of?"

and the centurion explained, "this soldier ran away from the enemy."

when this was said, alexander's heart face hardened, as cowardice in battle was unspeakable. the people whispered among themselves "surely this man will die."

before he would declare the sentence, he asked the soldier, "boy, what is your name?"

with a catch in his throat the boy replied, "my name is alexander."

with great fury from his hardened heart, the great king commanded for all to hear,

"you. change your name or change your profession! guards, remove him from my sight at once!"