Monday, December 12, 2005

hello, racism?

in the news
SYDNEY, Australia-Racial Unrest Strikes Australia


what is up with racism today? i thought it was just random shit with the recent French racist party weeks ago. is this becoming a trend?

i bet the singapore government is quivering with fear. racial harmony has been a gripping issue for *them* for the past few decades. they have been so active to preserve the peace that i feel stupid for them. no chewing gum no bar-top dancing no racism. bullshit.

as if we need to be told that racism is scum. the main chunk of racially-motivated criminals are already dead or rotting in nursing homes. our dear old government does not need to remind us of racial harmony just to keep the peace. the more they stir up this shit the cloudier the toilet water gets. and it doesnt smell sexy.

nobody thinks of Race as a factor of life except when it's Racial Harmony Day. what, we have to be extra nice to our Malay and Indian friends today? wear a sarong and suddenly be more culturally aware of a fellow ethnic group? bullshit. what naive hypocrisy and callous reality representation. we don't need faceless national ceremonies to print morals into the Singaporean mind. we need to mix the people and shut the World War II survivors up.

everyone should forget about the racial aspect for once. moral education, the failure of the MOE. the only thing that embarrasses me more is the Kiasu Effect, exclusively observed among singaporeans.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

that irritating cousin...

think of this. have you ever had those frustratingly annoying verbal battles with that irrtating cousin to whom you would say that he or she was stupid and s/he would tell you that you were stupid x2 and you correct yourself with a "you're stupid x4" etc? neither have I.

but hypothetically though, if the argument were to ever grow to such scale of infinity, that's where the real trouble begins. for example the debate would reach the point where you say to the damned cousin, "You're infinitely stupid. Infinity!" And you sprawl around in your apparent increase in IQ for a mere 65 nanoseconds before that bitch of a son replies with a "You're infinitely stupid x2."

I'm like WTF, mate? ^^

how can there be a number larger than infinity? It is the largest number set known to man. Say a circle is composed of an infinite number of points. Does a bigger circle have more points? If you took four seconds to ponder this and read the sentence more than once, then your brain is probably smaller than the first circle. not convinced? (about the paradox, dummy. the second theory is proven.)

ask yourself this: of all positive whole numbers, are there more non-squares than perfect squares? a perfect square is like 4(2²), 36(6²), or 100(10²). a non-square (no whole roots) is something like 6, 11 or 69(ooh). i think you understand numbers since you know how to operate a computer. so are you going to read all this and not answer the question? are there more rootless numbers than numbers with roots?

a typical internet moron deduces that there are 10 perfect squares from 1 to 100, including the said numbers (although the moron didn't say it out loud I still wonder). so out of 100 integers, only 10 are squares. from 1 to 10000 there are only a measly 100 squares. "Surely the answer to HRH's dumbfounding question is a resounding YES?" you say. that's where I come in with my rattan cane to whip your ears, and truly inaugurate you into the hall of internet morons.

as i whip your ears, learn that for every integer, there is a square for it. and for every square number there is a root. therefore for every single non-square number in the positive infinity series, there is one corresponding square number. still think the answer is YES? you deserve to be deboned with crooked chopsticks and roasted on a faulty bunsen burner.

the moron is named thusly because within the boundaries of the infinity series (which is ironically lacking a boundary), he still chooses groups of 100 or 10000 integers to test the question. MORON! infinity cannot be tested with the words 'larger' or 'smaller'. only your lop-sided half-brain can be!

so i tell all of this to my asshat cousin, who looks at me dumbfoundedly with a "WTF, mate. ^^" look. i finally won that bastard of a daughter. infinity cannot be topped off with an infinity x2 you snotty retard! while i am LOL-ing in my head for just over 3.14159 microseconds i hear a brain-shrinking, eye squinting, scrotum burning, ass-clenching retort:

"Ya. But you still stupider."

giveup sia.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

when is the best time to use vulgarities?

well let me show you a few examples in which it's the right time to say some nasty stuff.

"What the fuck was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

"Where did all those fucking Indians come from?" - Custer, 1877

"Any fucking idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938

"It does so fucking look like her!" - Pablo Picasso, 1926

"How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC

"You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566

"Where the fuck are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937

"Scattered fucking showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC

"Aw c'mon. Who the fuck is going to find out?" - Bill Clinton, 1999

"He fucking tried to kill my daddy!" - George W. Bush, 2002

"Where are the fucking WMDs?!" - UN, 2003

"Oh, fuck." - Saddam Hussein, 2003

"Geez, I didn't think they'd get this fucking mad." - Osama bin Laden, 2001

yes, indeed 'fuck' is about the most versatile word in the English language. it is by its own worth a noun, pronoun, verb, adverb, adjective, clause, subject etc. it survives in any context, with or without oxygen.

right. although one of the favourites in my arsenal of gentle expletives, "fuck" still does not top "cheebye" (or "chibai", "cibai"... as socially inferior classes spell it) as the most special word in my special box of vocabs. there is a unique aura that surrounds this word. it just sounds powerful when you say it. CHEEBYE. a slow ch- intonation followed by a very abrupt and 'fuck-you-in-the-face' BYE resonance. the fact that it is not as adulterated as the word 'fuck' has only increased the emotional and aural value of 'cheebye'. the word should therefore be used sparingly and not so fucking freely as the average vulgarity in order to preserve its value.

when you are running in the house and accidentally ram a toe into the teak furniture, thats a greenlight. CHEEEEEBYE.

or if you close a door and dimwittedly leave a pinky in the hinges. FUCK LA CHEEEBYE.
length of the CHEEEEEE reverbation can be modulated according to the level of fucked-up'ness of the situation.

remember kids, dont overuse it, or we will end up with another very useful but meaningless word such as 'fuck'. the cheebye is precious. treasure it. caress it. dream of it. worship the cheebye, but dont overexert it.

and selamat hari raya to our muslim friends. yay. ya and cheers to our indian buddies too.

Friday, October 14, 2005

im going to the Cheers outlet for a beer or two. goodnight.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

free at last

exams are over. after worrying about being hopeless during the paper, we can now start worrying about retaining. chem was ok, physics wasnt and math was OMGWTFBBQ k thx. still, i used 4 slices of paper so thats an improvement right there.

but since the papers are done, we are free at last, to do silly things like plotting a graph on pullups. this is a real plotting btw, which marks my progress in pullups. doing many pullups allows one to do more pullups. that is rather useful in life. press to enlarge. (also works on many other things beside thumbnails.)



man what a beautiful graph. by plotting t against x we get a misbehaving curve-like straight line thingamajig. therefore something must be valid. note that the best-fit line spears near the origin. yea careful calculation of scale interval to achieve such scientific perplexity.

gradient g is found by (268-92)/(26-9)=10.3529, with which we can place into the equation of choice, y=gx+k. constant k is computed to be y-gx, 92-(10.3529*9)=-1.17.

the equation of this mojo-jojo line is thus sagaciously formulated to be y=10.3529x - 1.1765

zero t is 10th January. my funky graph tells me that i will achieve 33.8 pullups by Christmas, ~38 pullups by Chinese New Year and 44.8 pullups when i turn 18 in April, on which day i will drink beer and make merry but thats another story. turns out i can hit 50 pullups during NAPFA. the assumption is that the gradient will remain as x increases. probably true since daily training requires me to complete 2x; power output and difficulty increase proportionally, so time over difficulty is an expected constant.

experiment is continuously carried out in a draft-free experiment because i have naugt intention to draw a graph of me oscillating under a pullup bar. there are no anomalous points. the big bump in the beginning of the line is really not there. your eye is probably anomalous. i suggest stabbing it with a meter rule or concentrating like a retard on a spirit level to reduce the systematic error there.

LEVEL 8 TYVM.

i have never seen such an abominable physics paper in my life.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

i have never seen such a simple chemistry paper in my life.

OCT 13 Update: seeing is believing.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

is it time to mug yet?

ps 24 nov 2009: i havent been studying for a long time. and lately ive also come to realise why i hate books so much. they make me feel lonely like i never do when im not reading. i hit the study notes and after 4 hours i go into a deep state in which i become aware that i dont really have much to speak of except my thoughts such as this. and i dont like this kind depression, the irrational kind. and so i owe alot to clarence who around this time four years ago was there, unknowingly blocking out this shadow that creeps up behind me whenever i study alone. my greatest fear is that this philosophy of mine which i built over the last 3 years is fundamentally a lie.


i have never clocked up so much study time in a week than i have my entire jc life. ok my entire life.

roughly 5 hours a day for 5 days, not including the weekend stay at clarence's. his dog can drivel more than me but i digress. since i started taking add maths in 2003 there was never a test i didnt flunk out. i couldnt find the second derivative of my ass if my life depended on it. binomial wha? lnx? how do you pronounce that anyway? they also have all these cool names like Radian, Arctangent, Cosecant² and MacLaurin. if i get an A for C Math, i could impress people with my pro skills. chicken chop at tpjc costs $0.0383radian. omg radiandollars. i should make my own currency when i take over singapore but i digress.

so anyway now i know what mathematical induction is all about. the purpose and relevance of it in my quest for world domination, i find slightly to be more obscure. if i could scrape by with an E, that would place me nicely in line for a AO pass in C Math. (promo takes a 0.9 weightage for grades, midyear's takes 0.1. factoring the result that i got a score of roughly lg 70 for a 70-mark paper, i essentially have zero marks for the midyear component. go figure. )

tomorrow is gp and physics paper2. paper 2 before paper 1, which comes friday. what nonsense. what are they feeding teachers nowadays? i heard Pedigree© helps them grow nice soft fur but that's just silly. and whats this shit about everyone saying that they're 'mugging' for promos. if i hear 'mug' one more time im going to throw a mug full of puke at them. 'mug' has no meaning even remotely close to what ultra-studying is all about. a more appropriate term would be piaing. pia is such a powerful word. find me a another three letter word with as much oomph as pia. and stop thinking about sex. promos is tomorrow.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

where is the war on terrorism heading?

go down to yahoo.com and there is the 'news' section which can give updates as precise to the minute it was reported. but how new is news? at least one of the headlines has the words Iraq, Iran, bombings, etc. ALL THE TIME.

so im like hey man, why dont they just give up? even a generous model of 10,000 insurgents cant eventually win the US forces. or maybe 'win' is less distinct that i thought. an iraqi suicide bomber costs $0 to hire and probably less than US$500 to equip and do his one way trip. but the result is blood, fear and terror in the americans: priceless.

a US marine costs thousands to keep in service per annum, not including the hundreds of thousands invested in equipment and med services to keep him alive in the battle field. a crazy iraqi comes along and boom there goes your $$ greenbacks. his family at home is like wtf? yahoo news is like whoa not again? and im like damn i think the US is losing this war.

in a battle where one side has nothing to lose, winning is not so much a factor anymore, isnt it? its not about who has more troops to spare, but rather if the americans can bear to watch her people get raped by homemade explosives and fighting back in futility.

now im sitting on my throne and digressing a tad but humour me: imagine a colony of 10,000 termites. each termite has a purpose, and its purpose is no different from that of the other termites in front and behind it in a big termite line. find food, grab food, bring back food for lazy queen. this colony is seriously raping your wooden house. so you take some Baygon© and easily dispatch a dozen or two of them. what's the use? now we have 9980 termites with the same purpose as before, ie to rape your wooden house. you cant kill a colony by taking away piece and piece. what you have left is an angry colony that will function at 101% efficiency, and a bloody room that smells like Baygon©.

like termites, ants and bees, terrorists are super-organisms. heck, even if you kill the queen they can always hatch another one (damn bastards). i think the US should start getting smart about this. they should put me in the pentagon. lol just kidding. they should make me president.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog

slowly but surely.