people might behave in certain ways, appearing to have a myriad of different wants and preferences, disguising the fact that they are in need of security in all aspects. but it is only after they have attained security that this artificial cloud is blown away, and they realise that they are still not happy.
i have thought about it for a while and have come to the conclusion that what people really want, under security, is actually to be useful. i find it difficult to believe that all the security and reliability in the world could satiate anyone's life. even the delusion of security is not enough. it is only through knowing that my existence is for some reason that i can really be happy.
i have found my reason for being. i can only hope that i can hold on to that reason long enough so that i die before i let go or it is taken from me.
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