you know youre old when

• you cant touch your toes like you could 10 years ago
• you get weird cramps when you try to sit cross-legged
• you get piercing knee pains when you kneel down on hard ground
• your hip hurts against the floor when you stop kneeling and try to lie down instead
• you get backaches just from sitting down
• nothing on tv excites you anymore
• nothing on fhm excites you anymore
• you stop listening to rock music or anything with drums in it
• hawker uncles no longer call you xiao di di or shuai ge but lao ban instead
• your face is constantly oily
• you start seeing varicose veins on the back of your leg
• you cant remember the last time you didnt have eyebags
• you cant remember what you ate for breakfast
• you start eating certain foods to help you shit better
• your mother starts bribing you to get a gf 

 "its ok, its an investment--just like your education!"