zero sum

when people talk prosperity, more money, more things, a bigger house, a faster car--these are improvements that come over time as living conditions in a region improve over time. if we take a period of 50 years, or maybe even 20 years, most if not all regions will see some sort of financial prosperity.

but according to the way most people in developed countries see it or want to see it, prosperity isnt an increase in purchasing power from what they used to have in the past; prosperity is an increase in purchasing power over their peers at the present. in this sense, a communist governing system can issue a directive which increases the food distribution for everyone by 5% with a corresponding increase in quality of life, but net 0 increase in level of prosperity as each person sees it. after all, everyone sees the same increase. ok maybe communism isnt such a good base to start an analogy on relative prosperity.

thankfully, people in most parts of the world have their right to own and purchase property/goods/services, etc, and so they do. so what happens when the governing body slashes the sales tax or value-added tax by a couple points? more people get what they want--an increase in life quality no doubt, but is this a measure of prosperity? no: a blanket tax like a sales tax or vat affects the entire economy equally, and so an increase in purchasing power across the board will inevitably cause an increase in prices across the board, a result that negates the move. thats just how markets work...this is why blanket tax cuts will never happen. even the most socialist government will only inject wealth to a partial sector of the economy, most likely the poor or middle class, or both, because as mentioned, giving help to everyone is giving help to no one.

and so we finally touch upon the meat of the issue...wealth discrepancy. prosperity cannot be increased, it can only be shifted around. the recent and impending implosions respectively of the greek and italian economies are merely antipasti to the primo which is the usa deficit shitfest. without pointing fingers for whos to blame, all business bubbles are traceable to the root of evil, which isnt money, but the greed for money. the unfortunate truth is that whether the bubble is growing or recently popped, capitalism leaves in its wake a scorched earth of unequal wealth distribution. to be honest, it isnt capitalism's fault, its just a fantastically convenient term to place upon the preference for "prosperity", or growing that wealth already possessed. the best position for money to be placed is upon the poor, where utilitarian ROI is best realised. this economic system (free capitalism), is ipso facto a tool which generates a need for wealth faster than the wealth itself.

this is why we work over 44 hours a week to be able to owe the banks for 35 years. because those who designed the system designed it in a way to keep themselves out of it. such an outcome, which if, as outrageous as it is, has not caused violent civil war, i would say is perfect show of capitalism, or euphemistically "meritocracy" in the government. 44 hours and 35 years. that is the yardstick that every layman wakes up and goes to bed on, telling himself one day he will do less than 44 for less than 35. that is how he judges his level of prosperity--marking himself against the average. the sorry fact is that he is likely never to do better than that, and if he does, it is only possible if participates in making the rich richer, and making the poor poorer.

enjoy your noble dreams of prosperity and your noble dream profession.

an old, unpublished piece on hate

3 may 2010, in response to seeing the phrase "i only bring out what is already within you."

i saw something today that made me think about hate and what it really means. now it's easy to get upset. it's easy to say who made you feel upset. x did. but heres the scoop: x doesnt own your feelings. there is a point somewhere along the line that we must define who is responsible for what.

do this: remember the last time you were in love with somebody. or maybe youre in love now. lets call that person y. remember y? when y was around, you were happy. you liked being happy. you like yourself when youre happy. ah, its all because of y. i love y. i love y because when y is around, i am better than when y isnt around.

now think about x. x did something. or wait. x made you do something. x made you say something. x made you feel worse than when x wasnt around. but is it really x's fault? is it possible that you hate x because x made you hate yourself? it is possible, isnt it? after all, what x did is forgiveable. but how x made you feel, is unforgiveable.

but if you love y for being able to bring out the best in you, it means you hate x for being able to bring out the worst in you. people around us have different abilities. some of them evoke parts of ourselves we want to see, and some of them materialise our shadows better and show us our ugly sides. realise now: neither x nor y created any part of you; they merely forced it out all on display. so who is to blame for the existence of that monster?

y constantly reminds us of why life is good. y reminds us why life is worth living. as social creatures we are in perpetual need for such reminders. far be it from me to trample on love or to trivialise it, but love is simply in the reminders. and just as love reminds us of our good side, hate reminds us of our bad side.

and that really is the crux of the whole issue with unfair hate. we hate x because x reminds us that we are capable of atrocities. heck, x might even remind us that we are atrocities. but x is there to keep our heads out of the clouds. x grounds us. just as y makes life fantastic, x makes life real. if hatred did not exist, we would not be capable of fully appreciating love.

brace for the incoming paradox. stop hating the people you hate, because the reason you hate them is only because you would rather not hate yourself. and that isnt fair to x.

the alternative is to be unfair, and hate x, for x wasnt fair to you in the first place. heck, the world isnt fair. maybe we should just love the people who make us happy and hate the people who dont. let us become vectors for the propagation of unfair hate. then we can all wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and see x, the person we hate.

fate of the species

we would expect that the early men back in the day were also able to conceive the notion of alliance over the option of tribal war for the purpose of progress in other areas. the idea of banding together for better survival is a precept from antiquity. the only thing that has changed over time is the size of this band. so while small families might have grouped together millienia ago, these days we are looking at numbers on the order of millions;remember the fascist era of the early 20th century.

the general idea of one leader uniting the masses against a looming external threat is a sweet one. yes, squabbles between sovereign entities are a tradition of very old, but neither the egyptians nor the persians nor the greeks possessed weaponry that could end the world--the kind of weaponry that causes us, in these times to frown and shake our heads at the thought of war instead of group up and thump our chest armor for the sake of protecting "our own". nationalism is the same today as it was 5000 years ago, yet even its purpose has come to pass now that we with our global connections can no longer deny that "their own" are just as deserving of peace, security and progress. it is without doubt that any nation with sufficient globalising exposure becomes less and less inclined to hostile inclinations towards fellow inhabitants of the globe itself (separatist nations being negative examples).

yet even within the most peaceful and so-called progressive nations i see cultural segregation causing inter and intrasocietal conflicts impeding a One Kingdom agenda. i discover myself wondering sometimes if it is even within the realm of possibility for the people of this planet to ever unite under one goal(ie. leader).  i find it extremely improbable if not impossible. now mass unification of the major religions culminating in a massive religious war of two or maybe even three parties--that is something i believe is rather possible, but for muslim and christian, negroid and caucasoid, conservative and liberal and man and woman to unite there must be a common threat large enough to compel a negation of longstanding differences and discrimination--a threat to humanity if you will. i am speaking of a hostile alien species. without this impetus, every prime minister or every president would only work for the benefit of his own country, every governor or duke, only his own state, every mayor only his own town, every parent only his own family.

every man, truly for his own self. fundamentally, this is the case, and it is a rule coming straight out of the animal world. but it is via advancement of a species that softens this requirement by enabling each individual to think for more individuals outside of himself, hence the advancing roles of self-leader->family leader->town leader->state leader->country leader etc. naturally, the inner conviction weakens as the role continues to advance, after all, who feels more compelled to die for his country rather than his family, or who would sacrifice his life and limb for a stranger rather than his friend? yet throughout the civilizations there have been a handful of superior individuals who were not only able but willing to lay themselves down for the sake of a purpose or role larger than themselves. some of these men started entire religions, some others created lasting ideologies. ironically, while their ideas were almost always with the intention to unite the people, because of the selfish limitations of the individual man, division also resulted. if history is to repeat itself for good, then some great man--or woman--will arise from the civilizations yet again to melt barriers and homogenise the people. but as history is famous for taking its time, and looking at the state of the world today, i honestly do not expect homogenisation within my lifetime.

assuming we have the foresight not to destroy ourselves with our weaponry, we will one day find it in us to set aside our petty rabble in the face of an enemy alien race we discovered with our technology, and then unite in arms to point those weapons in the same direction to ensure our survival. when that galactic war is over, the same dilemma would be applicable: will we ever unite with another sentient race to ensure survival? or would be attempt to eradicate each other with our terrible weapons? the scale will continue to increase, and nationalism will phase in and out with the times but it seems to me that every time it phases in we run the risk of destroying everything.

therein lies the paradox: uniting against a common enemy is trying to remove what could be part of one's larger self. unless we abandon the need to survive, we will forever struggle for it and forever run the risk of ending our survival itself.

on individualist anarchism

through reason i have found it tempting to abandon the leadership of man in countless occasions. through experience i have found it advantageous. through intuition i have found this to be one of the more fulfilling ways to live a life. now the thing is, as good as it may be to hold this perception of reality, there exists a dilemma which troubles me from sharing this philosophy with others.

the paradox lies within the concept that each man only truly understands himself best, and so there is no greater mortal leader walking this earth other than this man himself. therefore who am i to lead anyone to what is best for him, since i myself have abandoned concept of someone else knowing what is best for me?

yet just as i have struggled and taken hold of my right to liberty, so should it be availed to all that which i have found for myself!

sunday apothecary

potion #18

a little bit of rabbit and a bit of cat,

a dash of sheep and wolf--yes we like it like that

a teaspoon of cumin to put in whats nice;

and to take care of naughty, pepper's the spice

a swig of vodka and a dribble of martell

ice cubes and music to strengthen the spell

prairie dog and mother hen,

a chunk of both then count to ten

now point the flask to canis major

and heat the elixir with a big laser

a slice of snake and a cut of mouse

now enjoy the aroma that fills my house

so borrow a ladle and mix in well,

and while it's hot go steal a smell

for the finishing touch is drawing near,

now into the pot a keg of beer

 

a pinch of paprika to lend it some bite,

oh this table, needle i light

~

i think people

• i think people are a lot more persuasive when theyre not angry
• i think women are a lot more attractive when theyre not trying to be
• i think men would be a lot more attractive if they smiled more
• i think people would quarrel less if they put themselves in other shoes more often
• i think vegetarians are only justified on the health rhetoric
• i think boys can be a lot nicer
• i think girls can be a lot naughtier
• i think people would be a lot more content with what they have if they really knew what they needed
• i think humble people deserve to be praised
• i think arrogant people deserve to be punished
• i think posers shouldnt be punished, but ignored
• i do not think much of arrogant posers
• excuse the triteness but i think people with great power could do with a little greater responsibility
• i think the better teachers are the ones who make students love what they are learning
• i think time is the best teacher
• i think people in general are a little too busy
• i think middle is more desirable than left or right
• i think the chemistry is in the eyes
• i think the character is in the smile
• i think everything else is just icing
• i think daughters are better than sons
• i think people prefer right & wrong to correct & incorrect
• i think too many people pray only because they need things
• i think not enough people pray only because they already have things
• i think that there would be no suicide bombers and no crusaders and no holy wars if religion did not exist
• i think people would find other ways to kill each other anyway
• i think it is more glorious to be killed than to kill
• i think i would be a happier person if my thoughts didnt always spiral into depressive ideas and loneliness
• i think i think too much sometimes
• maybe most of the time
• ok all the time.

the unhypocrites

the reckless man who had been rescued from death henceforth appreciates life to the fullest. the wicked woman who has given birth to children is henceforth kind to all children. the man of bigotry who married an outsider no longer speaks a racist word. the healthy woman who became a smoker no longer scoffs at smokers. the proud man who was shamed once no longer boasts of anything. the rich woman who was bankrupted can now see the beggars in the street. the faithful man who became an adulterer no longer judges adulterers. the misanthrope who was saved once by a good samaritan no longer hates mankind. the straight man who befriended a lesbian and the straight woman who befriended a gay man both no longer judge homos. the rude man who fell in love with a polite woman no longer speaks rudely. the pro-life woman who was raped no longer condemns abortion. the anti-abolitionist man whose family became enslaved no longer supports slavery. the anti-abolitionist woman whose son was hanged for a crime no longer supports the death penalty. the unbelieving man who had seen miracles became a believer...

funny how people have to have things happen to them before they start seeing clearly. how clouded a viewpoint, one from the eyes of the inexperienced! how ominous the future is for them. yet how bright their faces shine when their eyes are opened! all is available to them, if only their minds were open...

one could measure oneself against the moral highground of the righteous man raised himself up above the rest, but moreso salutable is the unrighteous man who earned his ground to be equal among the rest by climbing up from the fallen depths, ironically becoming more equal than anyone else. that is the man i want to see.

i am owl

i like nights ten times more than i like days.

days are too hot. days are too bright. days are too noisy. days are too crowded. i can never get anything done during the day. days are for working out. days are for eating. days are for laying about. days are for sleeping, thats for sure. i can never get anything done during the day.

but nights are cool. nights are just dark enough. nights are quiet and peaceful. nights are alone. not that i always get things done during the night, but it just feels like nights are meant for things to happen. nights are for enjoying. nights are for appreciating. nights are for reading. nights are for writing. nights are for thinking, thats for sure. i am meant for the night.

especially rainy nights. i could just sit in a wet tree at look at a glowing lamp all night. and then i would look up and look at the white sparks up there. maybe if im lucky there wouldnt be a moon, because moons are too bright. and then i would look down and spy a black cat prowling the shimmering ground silently. little cat, how are you tonight? and then i would look straight ahead and admire the soft orange glow, and see the tiny flies in hectic orbit, and i would smile, because i know that even alone, i am not alone:

all these things, they are meant for the nights--just like me...

gregory for dummies part quatre

G201

• i am fair to the unfairly treated
• i am merciful to those shown no mercy
• i exalt the humble
• i humble the exalted
• i defend those unable to defend
• i destroy those who destroy
• i protect those who protect
• i join the losing team
• i laugh at those who laugh at
• i guess that explains why i laugh to myself alot
• i think cool people are weird
• i think weird people are cool
• i think im too cool for school
• no seriously
• i turn left when told to turn right
• i turn right when told to turn left
• i continue when told to stop 
• i stop whenever i please
• i murder people who tell me what to do
• i make my own rules and i abide by them strictly
• i cant listen to people who cant convince me
• i listen intently to people who have convinced me once
• i am stubborn to people i cant listen to
• i am open minded to people i can listen to
• i laugh at jokes that nobody laugh at
• i am annoyed by jokes that everyone laughs at
• i am ignorant of the praised
• i praise the unpraised
• i deny praise requested
• i give praise rarely
• i suddenly feel like eating braised duck
• i appreciate people who dont give a fuck
• i dont give a fuck about people who dont appreciate
• i think people who appreciate are nice people
• i am nice to nice people
• i am scum to scum
• i invest my everything into nice people
• i dont even say hello to scum
• i am rude to you because you are a rude person
• i am nice to you because you are a nice person
• i dont talk to you because you dont talk to me
• i might not talk to you even if you talk to me
• i might talk to you if you try talking to me when im not asleep
• i retreat into my head when i am bored. to most people it has the same effect as me being asleep.
• i dont mind staying there because the voices keep me company
• i cannot bring you there with me because once i unplug you from the matrix, i cannot plug you back in

thats it for today, kids. good luck for your upcoming exams. hey who's that sleeping at the back of the class?

what is it

irony

melodies of the clock and of history

fill the sea behind the mind's eye

eagerly perceiving the ungathered

the gaze it penetrates every veil

doors are locked but they do not stop it from devouring all

even bricks and mortar are reduced to an ocean of easy

in which it swims with flair like the penguins black and white

and the million shades of gray in between

to understand but not be understood

is a power undesired

a yoke that chains it's heart to rocks heavy and grounds unmoving

o, how it yearns to free it's hands from it's pocket or part it's lips
to recite the stories still untold

lo, the song of numbers do not add up

as the illustrations of reality fail to match the lyrics of the fantastic script

even as the rules of nature bow down in it's midst

that impossibility is impossible and nos can be yesses

yet it must be enslaved by the dark carousel of cyclic contemplation

producing artificial limits
to be placed on a vessel of surely unlimited outcomes

a perfectly imperfect vessel even pessimism himself cannot douse

weeping is lifted by admiration of a construct rebuilt from selftorn abuse

o, how it fancies to shred every and all into comprehensible truth

lo, itself it must eventually tear
and with the greatest fervour and harshest teeth yet

so let heaven be witness to the irony of ironies
as the weight of this one weighs heavier than any iron

~

gregory for dummies part trois / misunderestimated part trois

Lesson G301

• im not lazy: im a thinker of ways, not a doer of jobs.
• im not lacking in initiative: if i do, im a finisher of duty not a starter of new works.
• im not a judger: im a fixer of broken things, not a creator of brand new ones.
• im not rude: im a supporter of levity not a coward of political correctness.
• im not aggressive: im a leaky kettle, not a perfect pressure cooker.
• im not distrustful: im a skeptic, not a subscriber of naivete
• im not disrespectful: im a campaigner for meritocracy, not a confucianist.
• im not dirty-minded: im a lover of controversy, not a rabid fan of regular jokes.
• im not gay: i have smooth legs, but i didnt wax them. norly. srs!
• im not a fallen christian: im a disillusioned churchwenter, not lucifer. (for pete's sake)
• im not girly: im a connoisseur of all good television, not just an enjoyer of korean dramas.
• im not weird: im a special guy, not a kuku who only smiles to himself.
• im not racist: im somebody willing to joke about minorities, not prance around as if they are minefields because they arent.
• im not funny: im fucking hilarious.
• im not in denial: im an introspector of reality, not a dreamer of ideals.
• im not fucked up: oh wait, i am..

dont you wish you were too? goodnight, kids!

shoes

its obvious this wouldnt work

while its understandable that this is boring,

or that this is really something

as much as this is ridiculous.

and while this is kinky,

this is probably illegal in most states!

cogito, ergo amo

Love Part Quatre

i tried thinking about it a month ago but could only come up with what i felt then was suffice to conclude those thoughts. either i subconsciously misled myself into a cheap and convenient ending or i simply arrived at a suspect deduction put forth with insufficient proof of depth. i am loath to admit either but i would much rather be a bad persuader than a delusional psychopath. forty five minutes on the bus and another two hours alone in my head, james-san. i think, therefore i love. let me now produce the workings of a thought...

and tell you about the hypothetical:

someone who tries to smile when they are sad and dares to frown when they are happy, looking good either way, looking good even without trying, someone who has empathy, someone who lives upon structure and sees the merit of law, someone who respects ethics and practices morality, someone who will fight tooth and nail for those values, someone who will fight tooth and nail for their friends' dignities. someone neither driven nor aimless, nor filial nor rebellious. someone who isnt lazy, someone who speaks without thinking, someone who gives but refuses to take, someone who is generous with their heart, someone who loves everyone and still has more of it to love every animal. someone who is reliable, and predictable, someone who is hot because they are warm, someone who likes being liked, someone who isnt happy until everyone else is happy, someone who is sad when everyone else is sad, someone who doesnt steal anything but the hearts of the people around them,

someone who has all that i do not have. but then you already arrived at this conclusion 10 years ago when your teacher asked you this question. what does this mean? it means you are smarter than m it means your primary school is better than my primary school...

such is not the end to this intellectual escapade; i believe there are many who can tick all the boxes, but rare is that someone who is not only everything that i am not, but also who knows that, and above that accepts me in spite of, despite of and because of knowing who i am not--therefore truly knowing who i am; therefore truly accepting who i am.

ergo the right one for me is the one for whom i am right. QED.

(bet your teacher wouldnt have said you were wrong if youd just told her that instead. or maybe she wouldve slapped you. funny either way.)

love in contradiction

Love Part Trois

We cry with them, for them, but mostly because of them
they are endearing yet they irritate our skin
such they make life difficult; they also make it worth living

we accept them wanting to change them
the ones who dumbfound us, the ones who we find dumb
those we toil much to understand, but end up taking hand-in-hand

we toil for them, we bleed for them
bloodied knuckles brush sweat off brow
the ones we fight with, and the ones we fight for
but verily i say to you: this is really, simply amor.

we let them take everything, but more for we still sacrifice
the ones who take while never saying thank you
until its too late when they see your point of view

we stick together, moreso when opinions differ
us who speak the mind, never free from verbal blunder
but us who cherish, may no word rip asunder

we like them and then we really like them
yearning that they see us, and in us what we are for
admiring them through windows, while hiding behind the door

we want to stay till kingdom come, and secretly fear the day it ends
enchanted by fires of passion in havoc but plagued by thoughts of pessimists amok
happiness and relationships also happen to the cynic; its all part of the human dynamic

we want to remember them, we try to forget them
boy or girl who couldnt stay or he or she whom we pushed away
photographs we keep to this day rekindle the pain that we want to allay
but pain is there to help us grow; how much we can handle is another point, though

we hate the hurt but we keep dishing it out
crossing the stars, or worse, worrying our mothers
so come share us our shoulders; for none tonight cries under the covers

we adore them sometimes and sometimes we hate them
those who give us happiness, those who incite our anger
this poem grows me weary, so to rhyme this ill just say salamander

we see our friends, our parents, our children, our partners
they take so much yet we have more to give
if one has trouble comprehending, then one has very much more to live
but if they who read this and aloudly say
with great conviction, the word touché
then dear readers, this moment, on the twenty-sixth of december
the message of Yesterday, you need not me, to again deliver.

the glass

water in a glass. air in a glass. weve all heard of the pessimist and the optimist. just two--perhaps too simple and elegant? :)

and said in a way to inspire optimism in the many who have chanced upon this nugget of wisdom, by making the pessimist sound ridiculous. ahh..but whatever was so bad about the ability to anticipate the worst, save for the possibility that it might eventually be all one ever could see? willful blindness: an extreme scenario; and i could say the same for unguided optimists.

but now im just getting hung up on another false dichotomy, because we really are a world of many and while

the optimist might say "your glass is half full",
the pessimist would say "your glass is half empty" and
the enviromentalist would say "is your glass recyclable?" while
the philosopher would say "your glass of water is tecnhically not really there", followed by
the communist, who would say "your glass is actually our glass". but
the polemicist says "there is no issue with the glass. it has always been about the cup". to which
Lara Croft would say "my cups are Double D". not forgetting
Ris Low, who would say "your glass is half boomz and half shingz" and
the engineer who would readily inform that "your glass needs ╥*r²*(H-x) more water". next,
the jaded man who says "fuck your glass" and
the feminist who says "your glass is a phallic contruct. i refuse to answer this question" as
the buddhist says "in my past life, i was a glass of water". so
the singapore govt would say "we shall take our shit and our piss and treat it and pour it into your glass" right before
Chase says "dun care what water... your glass A-list anot?" and quickly after,
the Marxist would shout "your glass is the symbol of oppression on the water which is the working class" and
the fascist, "your glass is half of whatever I tell you it is" and then of course what we imagine
Jesus would say: "your glass overfloweth."

amen.