lying

is the worst place to be.

what am i

many people do not understand themselves, let alone the motives behind their words and actions. while it may seem very clear to them, while we consider that it is only natural for every man to think he knows himself best, surely not every man knows himself to the same degree.

now suppose a man chose to live in numbers instead of feelings, emotions and the unquantifiable, would not this logical, mathematical man be free of personal bias? less his preference for the impartial, would he be guilty of any other personal preference? he would be unswayable by argument as he would simply be a servant of numbers. while a normal man is conflicted by interests in himself, would not the logical man be the best judge of what is what?

how can we know best that a man is drunk? surely his own word weighs less than the word of the testing machine which has no personal interest. now if everything a man does or even does not do is measurable by an outsider, so would this outsider know of what is within the man. the act of understanding a man is reducible to a series of results from tests performed on his outward behavior, such that this new understanding of him would be more far more accurate (verifiable) than any statement he gives, even one of his own claims of self understanding.

there is one weakness to the methods of the analytical observer: that this observer knows only as much as the subject reveals, whether accidental or voluntary. yet because it is rare that a man cannot live without revealing his motives, the only man who can honestly claim that no one truly understands him, is a sociopath.

cut off

i almost forgot but i was reminded ..scenarios of conversations run through my head like an endless generator. i want it to stop but maybe i secretly don't. maybe it doesn't stop because i don't want it to stop. i don't want to know what to say or do. i just want to sleep. i don't want a solution. i don't want to hear any more conversations. i want silence. i want distraction. i need to rest

then i want to be a scientist

the humility of science is in its ability to be proven wrong; the beauty of it, its nature of only becoming more beautiful each time it is. the destruction of a part of science only adds to the whole.

as the sun rose from one horizon to set on the other, the scientists created models to understand this phenomenon, and found to their satisfaction, a mathematical equation to explain the movement of that great ball of fire as it orbited our world, the centre of the universe. it was a beautiful model, and it satisfied thirsts for understanding of the observable reality. we know what happened to that theory...

no, science is not always right. but think ahead: science is never truly right. looking back in history, we find repeatedly that science is, while never true at any one point, is also ever-changing, ever-improving, ever progressing. what i can be certain of however, is the fact that the Scientific Method affords us the best explanations for what is observable, in a manner that allows these explanations to improve our understanding of the world that we can experience with our senses. so the question arrives, 'why do we need to understand the world?' any man who has his food and shelter will eventually thirst for the intangible...that is to understand himself, his world, and his purpose.


the beauty of science is in its inherent ability to evolve upon its failures, each improvement making it more resistant to error, yet never immune to challenge. it is a beast that thrives upon efforts to take it down: a Nietszchean machine that cannot be killed, only made stronger.

science might well never be true, but because of how it is, it is damn well the closest thing to the truth that our minds can ever wrap around; when i say science can give us the best explanations, i therefore mean that it gives us answers that are most likely to be true. true or not true, if most likely true is the most one can get...