deserveth

goodlooking people have the fame, wealthy people have the power, and smart people have the reputation. and so it is that the handsome and the rich and the intelligent can be assholes and jerks and do however they please and be whomever they want, and the masses will take it as they come. all because fame, power and reputation are there to reward for putting up with all the crap.

now the thing is that should you have neither, or should you have little of either, then you have little justification for being yourself. putting aside the argument of whether this justification is just, lets just accept this for the fact that the world runs on what it runs, not on what is just.

now the average-looking and the working class and the fellow man have little to offer and so little to bargain with, that none of them can truly be himself, but only a fraction of it after working harder than the handsome or the rich or the intellectual man, only to fall short.

it is a tragedy: that because i am not charming enough--because i am not powerful enough--because i am not respectable enough, i cannot survive as well as the gifted to be myself enough. so that at the end of the day, who am i, so dimunitive, that i can demand the things for which i do not have the credit to compensate? who will take my shit for what little i can offer them, of which is also shit?

intj part quatre

http://greenlightwiki.com/lenore-exegesis/Introverted_Intuition

INJs are typically concerned with finding an independent and all-encompassing perspective on whatever interests them, so they can see it without bias, without being fooled or led along by ways in which other interests have set things up, and without a merely partial understanding.

an almost obsessive trait of mine--the importance of being untainted by bias to obtain truth that cannot be shaken. any bias attached to a particular truth is a weakness to that truth. it is not obvious? i search for immovable anchors of truth because such are the only places worth the effort to find. i am motivated to do it because being wrong is a waste of time in many ways. it is also proof of poor judgment. do we not get ourselves educated to improve our judgment?

the world is filled with poor anchors such as simplistic explanations, overused arguments and positions taken for granted without proper understanding. it is easy to take sides in debates, but rarely does the participant appreciate the position he takes over the veil of weak assumptions held down tight by the rush of adrenaline from being in heated quarrels. why are you here? what is your argument? why are you arguing it? the digger you deep into yourself...

...you find yourself uncovering ever more and more hidden assumptions, and you feel the need to distance yourself from those, too, before you get your hands dirty or draw a conclusion.

this explains the perpetual fact of my argumentative nature quickly transforming into the polemic style. many times i have gone into arguments coming out realising that when people get into disagreements about something, they are actually arguing about something else more fundamental. its fun to be one of the few who realise this. its not fun to know that people are wasting their time not realising that they are fooled by the very assumptions they adopt so readily.

..you might feel very impressed upon meeting a man wearing a fancy Italian suit (signs call forth a natural response and need no interpretation); from an Ni perspective, you would consciously say to yourself that he's wearing an Italian suit and this is supposed to make you think he's wealthy or upper-class or really has his act together or something like that, and therefore is supposed to make you feel impressed (signs and what they mean are connected only arbitrarily). Whether he really does have his act together is a matter upon which you reserve judgement. Consequently you don't feel impressed.

so i am rarely impressed, and it all has to do with introverted intuition protecting me from too quickly internalising interpretations without first understanding them. this is skepticism in the purest form. this might lead me to reject many opinions especially ones that i have considered before, consequently giving the impression that i am never wrong or always right. on the other hand i already know that it is inherently fallacious to accept the popular opinion simply because it is popular. i already know the the Ni function is the least common of all the 8 jungian functions.

on one hand least deluded, on the other, most hated. such is the nature of nature.

i am become like them