spam! the bane of the internet!

do you want a bigger penis? do you? huh, punk? hey ladies, i'm asking ya, want a bigger dick? no? well, question wasn't meant for you anyway. so...you looking for a relationship?

for every spam email you receive there are another five million delivered to our sad internet friends. out of the 5 million, 50,000 are expected to be opened, much to the dismay of the younger generation. of this, 500 noobs will actually follow the links and be raped internetically. wow, new word.

spam is retarded, its insanity exceeded only by those who are hooked by its cheap tactics. the only reason it exists today in Schwarzenegger proportions is due to its dependence on human stupidity (a very reliable foundation of science). and because it relies on retards to ensure its commercial viability for the spammer, the amount of outgoing emails number in the millions.

that is why i received over 10 emails per hour on my previous hotmail account. 'previous' because i abandoned it 4-5 years ago. deleting crap emails was a chore. beside, it was a good reason to dump the account because telling it to friends was an embarrassment. speaking of embarrassing email names, you might agree why you wouldn't want to admit to strangers or place on your name-card 'handsome_dude_81@yahoo.com', 'kissmyass@hotmail.com', 'ilovesex@aol.com' or 'backstreetboy_jonathan@msn.com'.

(gal online): hi, 21/F/Singapore.. asl?
(dude online): lolz hi. 22/m sembawang hahahax
>>>fastforward 2 hours of chatting>>>
(gal online): so..it was nice chatting with ya. exchange emails?
(dude online): wah. just mit tmr here same channer same time lorh.. u bz ah?
(gal online): hail_chan@hotmail.com
(dude online): uhh.. realy muz have my email ahh?
(dude online): ok lor.. pornoboi_84@hotmail.com
(gal offline): <[user disconnected]>
(dude online): harlow?

well then, the only reason anyone would use pornoboi as an email name would be if it was used as a dummy account to sign up for crappy websites which are slightly useful to you but not worth the trouble to use your real email for. dummy accounts. among the most useful lessons for a net user is dummy email accounts to collect all the spam you wouldn't want going into your "real" inbox. thank you neopets for teaching me that lesson. bloody hell. 'Click Me And Get Free 500 Neopoints!'. More like 'Sign up, get your email address sold for half-a-cent, and then six months later wish you were burning in a vat of boiling tar! And also free 500NP...'

i have a dummy email account with yahoomail, and its composed entirely out of numbers. nobody judges numbers. nobody will look at you funny if you told them your email was 0834915200@yahoo.com. but they will definitely judge you to the inner circle of hell should you write pornoboi@mail on your namecard.

then again, i shouldn't have to go through all this trouble to create dummy accounts for the safety of gregmatic@hotmail (prrreecciiiiiiousssssss). it should be the spammers doing the extra work. i hope they have hard lives. i hope they get caught and sued and put in prison, where the inmates have large penises and are looking for relationships. good luck and have fun then, assholes!